Post 17: Marrying a Prince

I write this in response to the announcements of Prince William's engagement to Kate Middleton. Both are 28 years old and will be married in April 2011. I'm sure this is the stuff of every little girl's fantasy, marrying a prince.   Or at least imagining she is a princess. But you get a little older, and wiser, and then realize that there are only so many princes in this world. I wonder what it's like, being a real-life princess?

Firstly, I suppose I would have to eat things like caviar, and pate, and all that gourmet food. I've never had any of those things. I don't even like those fish roe, even the ones which came with sushi. And I am no longer able to walk into McDonald's without a bodyguard. Or KFC. Or PastaMania. Or Burger King.

I'll probably have princess lessons like Mia in The Princess Diaries. God knows I need them. I would probably have to be drilled in royal protocol and matters of etiquette. So that I wouldn't make a fool of the royal family.

They would probably hire me a stylist, hairstylist and make-up artist. And probably a trainer or two. And a nutritionist. And a manicurist. And a chauffeur. And maybe a butler. Some security. A personal assistant. Because I would be representing the royal family. And I have to look immaculate. Nice little pressed suits in pastel colors. Not a strand of hair out of place. I'd probably have to take up horseback riding. Or polo. Or cricket or whatever it is that royals play. No more RO and Perfect World for me.

I have to really watch what I say. Because who has ever heard of an outspoken, rude princess? Or even a sarcastic one? None in living memory. Of course I'd have to be involved in charities, and hospitals, and orphanage. Not that I have anything against charities and such. But sometimes, when celebrities do it, it seems a bit...fake. Like it's all for show for someone's twisted benefits.

At this age, this kind of fantasy is properly over. Sounds like dull, stiff, stuffy life, being a princess. Especially for a person who expects so much freedom from a relationship. Sounds like it could kill.