Post 13: Teenagers and Dating

I have recently joined Yahoo! Answers, and was browsing through the family and relationships section and was surprised to find that the questions here refresh every few seconds when something new pops up. What astounds me most is that the dating part of this section is frequented by kids as young as 11 years old. Why the hell are they so worried about dating so young? Most of them are westerners of course, but surely the trend could not be that much different here. My own sister started dating as young as 13 years old, Belle dated at around 15, and Becky started dating young too, I expect. But of course, that was all a good 7-8 years ago. A lot of things must have changed since then.

The one thing I noticed (from Yahoo! Answers) was that kids seem preoccupied with dating. An example is as follows:

"My sister is 11, and she and this guy likes each other but my mom will say no to dating. I've my first boyfriend at 11 (without my mom knowing) so I'm doing this for my sister. Is 11 to young to date? How can I go against Mom, her ideas are so stupid. I'm 17". (edited from memory)"

So my thoughts were, "You're only 17! You're not even old enough to be a legal guardian! So how do you know what's best for your 11-year-old sister!" When I do think back, we always thought that we were "old enough" for something (especially dating), but guess what? I don't think so now. What would an 11-year-old know about being in a relationship anyway?

And there were also posts which go "I want a gf/bf! How do I get one?" Now that is just lame. You don't go out and get a boyfriend like they were a can of sardines on a supermarket shelf. Which also leads me to this question: Why would you want a gf/bf for anyway? Especially if you're 14, why? Because it's cool? Because you're curious? Because you want to prove something? Wanting a gf/bf just to be part of a couple is pathetic, and not a good enough reason to be in a relationship with someone. Anyway, I personally think that the main reasons kids are dating young these days are because...

"All my friends are dating!" Are you sure all your friends are dating? Seriously? So what! Take a listen to David Archuleta, "...good things come to those who wait". Are you just going to date a guy because he happens to be available and you're desperate? Chances are, you're just so going to end up with a clueless jerk, wondering why in the whole wide world you dated him anyway. What? You're 15 and totally in love, and are going to get married and I'm some deluded old hag and don't know what I'm talking about? Wait, you don't even know what love is. I've got 10 years on you and I'm still figuring out what it is, and I sure as hell did know know what it was back when I was your age. Oh, and I've eaten more salt then you have rice. Marrying their high school sweethearts is not for everyone, especially if you've only been dating for 2 months.

Or what about this:

"My boyfriend wants me to give him a blowjob. He said I should do it because he's my boyfriend. We're both 13. Should I do it?"

I was seriously, "WTF?!" Barely in their teens and discussing bj's? If I were her, the only thing he's getting is a break up, honestly. And if she was confused about it to be asking Yahoo! Answers, then there is seriously a problem with either her, or the relationship, or both. She is being pressured into doing things she has doubts and is not comfortable with. But then again, if it were me, of course I would doubt the guy instead. There's no points for guessing what he's going to ask of her next, after he's gotten what he wants. It's just the same thing for another girl, age unknown, who was wondering if doing "sexual stuff" with her best friend's brother, whom she likes, would make him like her in return, after he's hinted that he'd like to do "sexual stuff" with her. Geez, being born into late Generation Y and early Generation Z where information is readily available to anyone, you'd think that they would have read about naive girls who were tricked into having sex (and later dumped, or worse, murdered). I've never read any stories of love and romance where sex came first, mutual attraction next. Especially not in teenage romances, so I really wonder, where could these girls have gotten these sick ideas from. It is with no doubt the stupidest question I've heard any self-respecting female ask was, "If I had sex with him, maybe he'll fall in love with me". Not. He'll only think that you're easy and have little or no respect for you. And you'll only hate yourself for being so duh.

I think that while you're still in high school, it's better for you not to seriously date. There are always exceptions of course, we do know people who married their high school sweethearts, but that doesn't happen very often and we do not know how many years they dated prior to marriage, and whether the marriage ended or will end in divorce. Of course you can always enjoy going out with guys and spending time with them but when too many emotions are swirling around, things might get ugly. And with all that homework and exams and co-curricular activities and your period, it would be better if you don't have to worry about boys too.

And you wonder why the western girls look so old for their age (they can be 16 and look as old as me). That's the reason =)