Post 23: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

I think I have been away from my blog for a really long time because deng! New layout/features! Still figuring how things work but anyway.

Two weeks ago, my significant other booked me into my third visit this month to our favourite restaurant. The occassion? "Bring Your Partners Out" - male version. To be honest, I wasn't exactly thrilled. I'm really terrible with people. Especially those I'd never met. Even more so when I'm expected to make a good impression.

The morning started with a call from one of the guys stating that his wife had gone into labour. He was wondering what time we were meeting up. Clearly I was unimpressed with his attitude. There is no way E was going anywhere if I'm the one on the verge of giving birth. Talk about bad prioritizing. Anyway, let's call him Alpha Male.

So Alpha Male met us for lunch while his wife was in the process of giving birth. He ordered some meat dish and also ordered some kind of sandwich, which he barely ate, just because he can. You know, E asked if I was going to blog about this and hell yes I bloody well am (doing it now) because how can I let such a fantastic opportunity pass me by?

Alpha Male is exactly the kind of guy Ryan Higa, KevJumba and Chester See were talking (or rather singing) about in their Nice Guy video. Honestly, he even had his baseball cap angled (what was it, 43 degress? Or something).

The YTF guys should have included a couple more lines which goes "Oh, you're giving birth to my son? Look, I couldn't care less, I'm too busy having fun". I really thank my lucky stars I'm not his wife. Wait that wasn't fair. Maybe he's really sweet to her. But I thought he was loud and obnoxious and he thinks himself real funny. It was like, he was his own biggest fan. In fact, I think he's in the same league as my Form 2 boys, except that they are actually funny. Moving on, I ain't wasting no more words.

Next, there was Meat Guy and his girlfriend, who I'll call "the Good". E recommended the Filet Mignon to him, which he had difficulty finishing because he also had to eat half of his girlfriend's Chicken Maryland, which she either fed him with or put on his plate. And also her mushroom soup which E ordered on her behalf because they seemed overwhelmed with the selection. Except of course she doesn't eat mushrooms. (Or beef or lamb or pork. She only eats chicken and fish and I'm guessing she doesn't really like chicken that much because it's a sore sight, her constantly shoving her food down her man's throat. I guess that is really sweet because I am so sure he is incapable of feeding himself. Not in public anyway. So you see now why she's named "the Good".

When Meat Guy, towards the end of the meal seemed to have trouble finishing his food, she went "Here, let me help you eat", all in a huff. That was nice of her and something she should have done 30 minutes ago. It was either that, or she should have just sucked it up and ate her own food.

When E invited them to watch Johnny English with us after lunch, Meat Guy proudly announced that his girlfriend doesn't watch movies with unfamiliar actors/actresses in them, nor English movies. To which, E proudly responded that I don't watch Chinese movies (which pretty much makes sense since I don't understand the language). But not watching English movies? You cannot say that you don't understand English? It's something you learn at school. Even in the Chinese and Tamil medium ones. (Seriously there must be something really wrong with the teaching and learning of English in schools these days). Anyway, they later bought tickets to Johnny English, no pun intended.

The other couple, Fish Guy (E recommended a fish dish he found really good). His girlfriend earned the nickname "the Bad" because upon meeting the guy's parents, his mom told him that this was not a good girl to be dating, thus, "the Bad". Funnier still, her mom thought that he was not a good guy to be going out with as well. There you go, at least the moms are in agreement. She is also christened "the Bad" because she gives awkward, shy, wallflower girlfriends like me a bad name. Seriously! She'd never met any of us before but it sure doesn't stop her from being chummy-chum-chum. With the guys, obviously, not with us girls. She wasn't stupid, she knew who she was supposed to be impressing. It was all out all the time. I tend to get uncomfortable, or sometimes even sick, around people like that. I barely know you, so let's not act like we're BFF's. Not like she tried it on me. It must be my pervading evil aura. It must have hung over the lunch table like some invisible misty cloud. LOL.

Finally, there was also "the Ugly", i.e. me. I was easily the ugliest (and fattest) around. I was the one languishing in last place. I sat there cool as an ice queen (only not quite as pretty) methodically nom-ing away my mushroom soup, lasagne and bf's vegetables (people get Chicken Maryland I get broccoli and cauliflower...tears up, fogs glass). I looked bored and was like a round peg trying to fit into a square hole. The guys were talking about PSP games and showing off their gizmo phones and Ipads, yakking away about the good old days.

This showing each other up in front of their girlfriends is kinda lame. Now I know I sound like some disgruntled bitch but the girls are no better. Stop bloody feeding your boyfriends (refer previous post). It's not cute and does not serve to prove how much you love them. To me, it just seems forced and unnatural and really looks like you have something to prove (or maybe I'm just way too comfortable with E). I dunno. I feed E all the time just not in front of a table full of people. I just couldn't bring myself to do it without feeling like some fake.

Another note to girls. Stop trying so hard and just be yourself. I don't think there is anything wrong with sitting there quietly (wait, yes, there is) because frolicky conversations in a language you can't even understand, let alone speak (mandarin) fail to interest you.

Ah well. Then again, I probably wasn't being fair. Maybe "the Good" really does enjoy shovelling food down her guy's throat nurturing her man whether anyone is watching or not and "the Bad" really is an overzealous a social butterfly who acts that way in whichever gathering she attends.

If that is the case, then let no one blame me for being the chilly, quiet, disinterested bitch, 'mkay?

Post 22: What Are You Trying To Prove?

The title says it all. That is the exact thought which streaks through my mind every time I see a girl update her Facebook profile with something along the lines of "Had a great time with my [insert term of endearment here] [insert boyfriend's name here]" It gets worse when there are TWO pet names side by side. Like "honey muffin" and "sugar darling" or "sweetie baby". Eww. And I absolutely detest to see the words "lovely" and "wonderful" in the that kind of sentence. Makes it sounds so sickeningly sweet. Semantics much? You bet. Especially when you, like me, see "Had a lovely time with my sweetie sunshine today. I love you dhie, muacks" so so so many times. Makes me wanna puke, really.

I cannot help but wonder, what is the purpose to all these status updates? Yes I know this is the Age of Facebook and everyone can't wait to inform the world what they are up to as much as possible, from being engaged right down to getting their period. So far, I've come to two conclusions.

The first conclusion is that these girls are trying to convince people that they are extremely happy in their relationship. Perfect, extremely caring and wonderful guy. Everything is rainbows and roses and sunshines and butterflies and candy and chocolates. Yea, we've heard it the first time, you don't have to remind us 200 more times. It gets kinda tired and tacky after awhile. As for those who actually enjoy looking at and commenting on this kind of "Oh look at me! I'm so happy in my relationship!" parroting either has no life or secretly hoping that she could do that one day too. And on the other hand, don't tell me that your relationship is that perfect, and then some. Honestly no relationship is ever perfect. It's a lot of work and compromise and giving and sharing and caring and understanding. You're bound to come across some form of disagreement or dissatisfaction. Don't act like it's something only other couples deal with, and not you. I think it's called denial. Otherwise, I will say that it's just the honeymoon period. Trouble usually hits between the second and third year when the dust has settled and you become way more comfortable with each other.

The second conclusion I attribute to insecurity. I believe that expressing their love to the whole wide (internet) world (web) makes these girls feel the seal of security on her relationship. I don't know, this is kinda hard to explain. I suppose girls who do not have partners feel insecure, and girls who do cannot help letting everyone they know know that they are taken. Like it somehow makes them more superior, to I don't know what exactly. Does having a guy make you superior to girls who are single? No. And does your love life really need to be an open book? Kind of rubbing it in much?

I mean why in the world, why why why, do you need to let the whole online world know? It makes you feel important? It makes you feel special? I know you're already special in that one person's eyes? You don't have the make the rest feel unwanted, and ugly, and fat, and unattractive and desperate. Keep it to yourself. I don't wanna hear about your fantastic time every other day, or what you ate and who you ate with.

Whatever's happen to privacy?

I know, if I don't wanna know then don't look at it. But it's kinda hard to avoid something that crops up every few days without fail, especially the weekend.

Put a lid on it. Follow the guys' example.

Post 8: Insecurities of Insecurities

Insecure, defined as not sure or certain, doubtful, not firm or fixed, lacking stability, lacking self-confidence. On the other hand, insecurity is known as lack of confidence, self-doubt, quality of the state of being insecure, something insecure. Have any of you been insecure in a relationship? I have. Past and present. I think it's a matter of dealing with insecurities.

It may be the matter of me being a Sagittarius Sun and a Cancer Rising. I always ease in and out of confidence and insecurity. Maybe I'm like a werewolf, I feel like I change during the full moon or something. Anyway. I find insecurities often stem from background and maybe even socioeconomic status of a person. Like I've mentioned somewhere before, my siblings and I were all well-fed and watered as kids (even now) and we always knew that we were important to our parents and to each other. But going through school, I would say that my sister was the more outgoing of the three of us. She exudes confidence and was very popular among her peers. My bro is popular too, I would say, among his gang of gamer friends. As for me, I dunno, I am some kind of a loner, though I do enjoy being with friends once in a while. I never doubted that my friends like me, but I have always felt insecure about what others would think of me. I know, I know. Who cares what they think right? But you know you do care. You do care a whole lot. The "who cares" is just there to make yourself feel better about it. Yes, I'm hypersensitive. So?

Anyway, dealing with insecurities in relationships. I was insecure with my ex. Why? Many factors. Firstly, it was because girls like him. And I don't remember him ever giving me much assurance, if any at all. Then there was all that problem with my weight. Yes, I'm fat. He dated me for 2 years before I met his parents. And his mom thought he should ditch me because of my weight. And he had to go listen to his twisted, superficial mom and wanted me to go on a diet. And he didn't like me showing up at his workplace. WTF? Is there something wrong with your girlfriend paying you a short visit? It's not like I'm going to spend the rest of the day watching him work. How am I supposed to be happy with him is that was what he was putting me through? Oh, and things got better after we broke up, which I won't discuss any more. It's dead and done in my books anyway.

My current relationship is another different matter. I'm dealing with his "two girls". The first is his ex. You know, the one he cannot forget. He actually counted down to her birthday last time I checked. His response? He wants to remember the good. MMHMM. Right. It's been like, two years, and I already forgot most of my 3-year relationship, say, 80%? Oh, and he once mentioned that you can love someone, but not be able to be with that person because you are not compatible and that you're only able to live with someone who is compatible with you. Which leads me to think: Does he still love her? Ok, he does a lot for me which a boyfriend should and could. But I sometimes really do not know how he really feels about me. Seriously. Yes, he's a Scorpio. No, I'm not PMS-ing. GET OVER HER ALREADY. He said that he does not want to discuss his past because he knows it will hurt me. I'm actually divided over this. Do I really want to know? I know, curiosity kills the cat, ignorance is bliss and all that. But I want to know the TRUTH! We Sagittarians are all about knowing the truth. Well, now that I think about it, it could also be classified as being "busybody". So yes, weaving in and out of security regarding how much his past still mattered to him, and how big a part I play in his life.

The other girl. Ha. She's only seven years old. His little cousin. BUT. He spends more time with her than he does with me! Whine, whine, whine. So he has a broken leg, and they live in the same house. That doesn't mean that I cannot be annoyed with her. It so sometimes feel like we're competing for his attention. Of course when I'm around, he will be focused on me. And the little one always, always, always tries to butt in somehow. Not so much these days though because she does have to go to school. Now we get to the good bit. He sits through homework sessions with her! Geez, can't she do her own homework? She's only in Standard 1! We have dictionaries and revision books these days you know. Or you can just get a Besta. RM1598 will solve all the problems for you, no problem. Now that he's not working he sees her onto her vehicle to school and fetches her back from the gates and stuff. I hate the evenings. Mostly, I sit through 7pm to maybe 11pm or later while he makes sure she bathes and have dinner and goes through her homework. Yes I know I sound like a jealous whiny bitch. I am being one. BUT WHAT ABOUT ME! Ok, so maybe it's fair, I do work late too, and he has had to wait for me more than enough. That is work! This is voluntary services! Get her to do her own homework, or for the next ten years we'll be stuck sitting through all her homework sessions!

Oh well, guess it shows that you can never feel 100% secure in any relationship. Maybe it's a communication thing. We should learn to communicate better? Nah, kids just need to learn how to do their own homework. Enough ranting for one night.