I like this so much I'll just have to put the link up here.
http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/88620/dating-tips-12-things-you-dont-know-about-women
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Post 8: Insecurities of Insecurities
Insecure, defined as not sure or certain, doubtful, not firm or fixed, lacking stability, lacking self-confidence. On the other hand, insecurity is known as lack of confidence, self-doubt, quality of the state of being insecure, something insecure. Have any of you been insecure in a relationship? I have. Past and present. I think it's a matter of dealing with insecurities.
It may be the matter of me being a Sagittarius Sun and a Cancer Rising. I always ease in and out of confidence and insecurity. Maybe I'm like a werewolf, I feel like I change during the full moon or something. Anyway. I find insecurities often stem from background and maybe even socioeconomic status of a person. Like I've mentioned somewhere before, my siblings and I were all well-fed and watered as kids (even now) and we always knew that we were important to our parents and to each other. But going through school, I would say that my sister was the more outgoing of the three of us. She exudes confidence and was very popular among her peers. My bro is popular too, I would say, among his gang of gamer friends. As for me, I dunno, I am some kind of a loner, though I do enjoy being with friends once in a while. I never doubted that my friends like me, but I have always felt insecure about what others would think of me. I know, I know. Who cares what they think right? But you know you do care. You do care a whole lot. The "who cares" is just there to make yourself feel better about it. Yes, I'm hypersensitive. So?
Anyway, dealing with insecurities in relationships. I was insecure with my ex. Why? Many factors. Firstly, it was because girls like him. And I don't remember him ever giving me much assurance, if any at all. Then there was all that problem with my weight. Yes, I'm fat. He dated me for 2 years before I met his parents. And his mom thought he should ditch me because of my weight. And he had to go listen to his twisted, superficial mom and wanted me to go on a diet. And he didn't like me showing up at his workplace. WTF? Is there something wrong with your girlfriend paying you a short visit? It's not like I'm going to spend the rest of the day watching him work. How am I supposed to be happy with him is that was what he was putting me through? Oh, and things got better after we broke up, which I won't discuss any more. It's dead and done in my books anyway.
My current relationship is another different matter. I'm dealing with his "two girls". The first is his ex. You know, the one he cannot forget. He actually counted down to her birthday last time I checked. His response? He wants to remember the good. MMHMM. Right. It's been like, two years, and I already forgot most of my 3-year relationship, say, 80%? Oh, and he once mentioned that you can love someone, but not be able to be with that person because you are not compatible and that you're only able to live with someone who is compatible with you. Which leads me to think: Does he still love her? Ok, he does a lot for me which a boyfriend should and could. But I sometimes really do not know how he really feels about me. Seriously. Yes, he's a Scorpio. No, I'm not PMS-ing. GET OVER HER ALREADY. He said that he does not want to discuss his past because he knows it will hurt me. I'm actually divided over this. Do I really want to know? I know, curiosity kills the cat, ignorance is bliss and all that. But I want to know the TRUTH! We Sagittarians are all about knowing the truth. Well, now that I think about it, it could also be classified as being "busybody". So yes, weaving in and out of security regarding how much his past still mattered to him, and how big a part I play in his life.
The other girl. Ha. She's only seven years old. His little cousin. BUT. He spends more time with her than he does with me! Whine, whine, whine. So he has a broken leg, and they live in the same house. That doesn't mean that I cannot be annoyed with her. It so sometimes feel like we're competing for his attention. Of course when I'm around, he will be focused on me. And the little one always, always, always tries to butt in somehow. Not so much these days though because she does have to go to school. Now we get to the good bit. He sits through homework sessions with her! Geez, can't she do her own homework? She's only in Standard 1! We have dictionaries and revision books these days you know. Or you can just get a Besta. RM1598 will solve all the problems for you, no problem. Now that he's not working he sees her onto her vehicle to school and fetches her back from the gates and stuff. I hate the evenings. Mostly, I sit through 7pm to maybe 11pm or later while he makes sure she bathes and have dinner and goes through her homework. Yes I know I sound like a jealous whiny bitch. I am being one. BUT WHAT ABOUT ME! Ok, so maybe it's fair, I do work late too, and he has had to wait for me more than enough. That is work! This is voluntary services! Get her to do her own homework, or for the next ten years we'll be stuck sitting through all her homework sessions!
Oh well, guess it shows that you can never feel 100% secure in any relationship. Maybe it's a communication thing. We should learn to communicate better? Nah, kids just need to learn how to do their own homework. Enough ranting for one night.
It may be the matter of me being a Sagittarius Sun and a Cancer Rising. I always ease in and out of confidence and insecurity. Maybe I'm like a werewolf, I feel like I change during the full moon or something. Anyway. I find insecurities often stem from background and maybe even socioeconomic status of a person. Like I've mentioned somewhere before, my siblings and I were all well-fed and watered as kids (even now) and we always knew that we were important to our parents and to each other. But going through school, I would say that my sister was the more outgoing of the three of us. She exudes confidence and was very popular among her peers. My bro is popular too, I would say, among his gang of gamer friends. As for me, I dunno, I am some kind of a loner, though I do enjoy being with friends once in a while. I never doubted that my friends like me, but I have always felt insecure about what others would think of me. I know, I know. Who cares what they think right? But you know you do care. You do care a whole lot. The "who cares" is just there to make yourself feel better about it. Yes, I'm hypersensitive. So?
Anyway, dealing with insecurities in relationships. I was insecure with my ex. Why? Many factors. Firstly, it was because girls like him. And I don't remember him ever giving me much assurance, if any at all. Then there was all that problem with my weight. Yes, I'm fat. He dated me for 2 years before I met his parents. And his mom thought he should ditch me because of my weight. And he had to go listen to his twisted, superficial mom and wanted me to go on a diet. And he didn't like me showing up at his workplace. WTF? Is there something wrong with your girlfriend paying you a short visit? It's not like I'm going to spend the rest of the day watching him work. How am I supposed to be happy with him is that was what he was putting me through? Oh, and things got better after we broke up, which I won't discuss any more. It's dead and done in my books anyway.
My current relationship is another different matter. I'm dealing with his "two girls". The first is his ex. You know, the one he cannot forget. He actually counted down to her birthday last time I checked. His response? He wants to remember the good. MMHMM. Right. It's been like, two years, and I already forgot most of my 3-year relationship, say, 80%? Oh, and he once mentioned that you can love someone, but not be able to be with that person because you are not compatible and that you're only able to live with someone who is compatible with you. Which leads me to think: Does he still love her? Ok, he does a lot for me which a boyfriend should and could. But I sometimes really do not know how he really feels about me. Seriously. Yes, he's a Scorpio. No, I'm not PMS-ing. GET OVER HER ALREADY. He said that he does not want to discuss his past because he knows it will hurt me. I'm actually divided over this. Do I really want to know? I know, curiosity kills the cat, ignorance is bliss and all that. But I want to know the TRUTH! We Sagittarians are all about knowing the truth. Well, now that I think about it, it could also be classified as being "busybody". So yes, weaving in and out of security regarding how much his past still mattered to him, and how big a part I play in his life.
The other girl. Ha. She's only seven years old. His little cousin. BUT. He spends more time with her than he does with me! Whine, whine, whine. So he has a broken leg, and they live in the same house. That doesn't mean that I cannot be annoyed with her. It so sometimes feel like we're competing for his attention. Of course when I'm around, he will be focused on me. And the little one always, always, always tries to butt in somehow. Not so much these days though because she does have to go to school. Now we get to the good bit. He sits through homework sessions with her! Geez, can't she do her own homework? She's only in Standard 1! We have dictionaries and revision books these days you know. Or you can just get a Besta. RM1598 will solve all the problems for you, no problem. Now that he's not working he sees her onto her vehicle to school and fetches her back from the gates and stuff. I hate the evenings. Mostly, I sit through 7pm to maybe 11pm or later while he makes sure she bathes and have dinner and goes through her homework. Yes I know I sound like a jealous whiny bitch. I am being one. BUT WHAT ABOUT ME! Ok, so maybe it's fair, I do work late too, and he has had to wait for me more than enough. That is work! This is voluntary services! Get her to do her own homework, or for the next ten years we'll be stuck sitting through all her homework sessions!
Oh well, guess it shows that you can never feel 100% secure in any relationship. Maybe it's a communication thing. We should learn to communicate better? Nah, kids just need to learn how to do their own homework. Enough ranting for one night.
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