Post 23: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

I think I have been away from my blog for a really long time because deng! New layout/features! Still figuring how things work but anyway.

Two weeks ago, my significant other booked me into my third visit this month to our favourite restaurant. The occassion? "Bring Your Partners Out" - male version. To be honest, I wasn't exactly thrilled. I'm really terrible with people. Especially those I'd never met. Even more so when I'm expected to make a good impression.

The morning started with a call from one of the guys stating that his wife had gone into labour. He was wondering what time we were meeting up. Clearly I was unimpressed with his attitude. There is no way E was going anywhere if I'm the one on the verge of giving birth. Talk about bad prioritizing. Anyway, let's call him Alpha Male.

So Alpha Male met us for lunch while his wife was in the process of giving birth. He ordered some meat dish and also ordered some kind of sandwich, which he barely ate, just because he can. You know, E asked if I was going to blog about this and hell yes I bloody well am (doing it now) because how can I let such a fantastic opportunity pass me by?

Alpha Male is exactly the kind of guy Ryan Higa, KevJumba and Chester See were talking (or rather singing) about in their Nice Guy video. Honestly, he even had his baseball cap angled (what was it, 43 degress? Or something).

The YTF guys should have included a couple more lines which goes "Oh, you're giving birth to my son? Look, I couldn't care less, I'm too busy having fun". I really thank my lucky stars I'm not his wife. Wait that wasn't fair. Maybe he's really sweet to her. But I thought he was loud and obnoxious and he thinks himself real funny. It was like, he was his own biggest fan. In fact, I think he's in the same league as my Form 2 boys, except that they are actually funny. Moving on, I ain't wasting no more words.

Next, there was Meat Guy and his girlfriend, who I'll call "the Good". E recommended the Filet Mignon to him, which he had difficulty finishing because he also had to eat half of his girlfriend's Chicken Maryland, which she either fed him with or put on his plate. And also her mushroom soup which E ordered on her behalf because they seemed overwhelmed with the selection. Except of course she doesn't eat mushrooms. (Or beef or lamb or pork. She only eats chicken and fish and I'm guessing she doesn't really like chicken that much because it's a sore sight, her constantly shoving her food down her man's throat. I guess that is really sweet because I am so sure he is incapable of feeding himself. Not in public anyway. So you see now why she's named "the Good".

When Meat Guy, towards the end of the meal seemed to have trouble finishing his food, she went "Here, let me help you eat", all in a huff. That was nice of her and something she should have done 30 minutes ago. It was either that, or she should have just sucked it up and ate her own food.

When E invited them to watch Johnny English with us after lunch, Meat Guy proudly announced that his girlfriend doesn't watch movies with unfamiliar actors/actresses in them, nor English movies. To which, E proudly responded that I don't watch Chinese movies (which pretty much makes sense since I don't understand the language). But not watching English movies? You cannot say that you don't understand English? It's something you learn at school. Even in the Chinese and Tamil medium ones. (Seriously there must be something really wrong with the teaching and learning of English in schools these days). Anyway, they later bought tickets to Johnny English, no pun intended.

The other couple, Fish Guy (E recommended a fish dish he found really good). His girlfriend earned the nickname "the Bad" because upon meeting the guy's parents, his mom told him that this was not a good girl to be dating, thus, "the Bad". Funnier still, her mom thought that he was not a good guy to be going out with as well. There you go, at least the moms are in agreement. She is also christened "the Bad" because she gives awkward, shy, wallflower girlfriends like me a bad name. Seriously! She'd never met any of us before but it sure doesn't stop her from being chummy-chum-chum. With the guys, obviously, not with us girls. She wasn't stupid, she knew who she was supposed to be impressing. It was all out all the time. I tend to get uncomfortable, or sometimes even sick, around people like that. I barely know you, so let's not act like we're BFF's. Not like she tried it on me. It must be my pervading evil aura. It must have hung over the lunch table like some invisible misty cloud. LOL.

Finally, there was also "the Ugly", i.e. me. I was easily the ugliest (and fattest) around. I was the one languishing in last place. I sat there cool as an ice queen (only not quite as pretty) methodically nom-ing away my mushroom soup, lasagne and bf's vegetables (people get Chicken Maryland I get broccoli and cauliflower...tears up, fogs glass). I looked bored and was like a round peg trying to fit into a square hole. The guys were talking about PSP games and showing off their gizmo phones and Ipads, yakking away about the good old days.

This showing each other up in front of their girlfriends is kinda lame. Now I know I sound like some disgruntled bitch but the girls are no better. Stop bloody feeding your boyfriends (refer previous post). It's not cute and does not serve to prove how much you love them. To me, it just seems forced and unnatural and really looks like you have something to prove (or maybe I'm just way too comfortable with E). I dunno. I feed E all the time just not in front of a table full of people. I just couldn't bring myself to do it without feeling like some fake.

Another note to girls. Stop trying so hard and just be yourself. I don't think there is anything wrong with sitting there quietly (wait, yes, there is) because frolicky conversations in a language you can't even understand, let alone speak (mandarin) fail to interest you.

Ah well. Then again, I probably wasn't being fair. Maybe "the Good" really does enjoy shovelling food down her guy's throat nurturing her man whether anyone is watching or not and "the Bad" really is an overzealous a social butterfly who acts that way in whichever gathering she attends.

If that is the case, then let no one blame me for being the chilly, quiet, disinterested bitch, 'mkay?

Post 22: What Are You Trying To Prove?

The title says it all. That is the exact thought which streaks through my mind every time I see a girl update her Facebook profile with something along the lines of "Had a great time with my [insert term of endearment here] [insert boyfriend's name here]" It gets worse when there are TWO pet names side by side. Like "honey muffin" and "sugar darling" or "sweetie baby". Eww. And I absolutely detest to see the words "lovely" and "wonderful" in the that kind of sentence. Makes it sounds so sickeningly sweet. Semantics much? You bet. Especially when you, like me, see "Had a lovely time with my sweetie sunshine today. I love you dhie, muacks" so so so many times. Makes me wanna puke, really.

I cannot help but wonder, what is the purpose to all these status updates? Yes I know this is the Age of Facebook and everyone can't wait to inform the world what they are up to as much as possible, from being engaged right down to getting their period. So far, I've come to two conclusions.

The first conclusion is that these girls are trying to convince people that they are extremely happy in their relationship. Perfect, extremely caring and wonderful guy. Everything is rainbows and roses and sunshines and butterflies and candy and chocolates. Yea, we've heard it the first time, you don't have to remind us 200 more times. It gets kinda tired and tacky after awhile. As for those who actually enjoy looking at and commenting on this kind of "Oh look at me! I'm so happy in my relationship!" parroting either has no life or secretly hoping that she could do that one day too. And on the other hand, don't tell me that your relationship is that perfect, and then some. Honestly no relationship is ever perfect. It's a lot of work and compromise and giving and sharing and caring and understanding. You're bound to come across some form of disagreement or dissatisfaction. Don't act like it's something only other couples deal with, and not you. I think it's called denial. Otherwise, I will say that it's just the honeymoon period. Trouble usually hits between the second and third year when the dust has settled and you become way more comfortable with each other.

The second conclusion I attribute to insecurity. I believe that expressing their love to the whole wide (internet) world (web) makes these girls feel the seal of security on her relationship. I don't know, this is kinda hard to explain. I suppose girls who do not have partners feel insecure, and girls who do cannot help letting everyone they know know that they are taken. Like it somehow makes them more superior, to I don't know what exactly. Does having a guy make you superior to girls who are single? No. And does your love life really need to be an open book? Kind of rubbing it in much?

I mean why in the world, why why why, do you need to let the whole online world know? It makes you feel important? It makes you feel special? I know you're already special in that one person's eyes? You don't have the make the rest feel unwanted, and ugly, and fat, and unattractive and desperate. Keep it to yourself. I don't wanna hear about your fantastic time every other day, or what you ate and who you ate with.

Whatever's happen to privacy?

I know, if I don't wanna know then don't look at it. But it's kinda hard to avoid something that crops up every few days without fail, especially the weekend.

Put a lid on it. Follow the guys' example.

Post 21: [Sidetrack] Hottest Ever Guys!

1st of April! Time for a celebratory post to celebrate Spring! (I know we don't have the Four Seasons in Malaysia, but we can just pretend we do). In this post, I, LilBear will bring you some of the hottest guys in the entertainment industry (as voted by friends and myself, haha). Buckle up girls!

I'll start off with my sister's pick: Jang Geun-suk. He is a South Korean model-singer-actor who is most well-known for portraying band leader Hwang Tae Kyung in the South Korean drama, You're Beautiful. He will be next seen in the Korean adaptation of Kimi Wa Petto. (God, I love that drama).

Here's a picture. He's good-looking I guess. I've come to a conclusion that Korean guys always look very polished. Kinda like, made from porcelain.

Jang Geun-suk

Another actor whom she thinks is cute is Noh Min Woo. This Gemini guy starred in My Girlfriend is a Nine-tailed Fox.

Noh Min Woo

Erm, not bad, but they kinda look alike to me.

Miss P. voted for Jensen Ackles, who has acted in Dawson's Creek, Smallville and Supernatural. Cute, but married. Oh well.

Jensen Ackles in black and white

She also favors the boys from Boys Over Flowers, the Korean adaptation of Hana Yori Dango, Lee Min Ho, Kim Hyun Joong, Kim Bum, and Kim Joon.

The guys from Boys Over Flowers

Miss J thinks Justin Bieber is cute. You know, the teenaged singer discovered off YouTube. He is, I think, in a kiddie kinda way. Hey, he is not even of age. Eeek.. pedo spotted!

Justin Bieber and his melting-hearts-of-teenaged-girls-gaze

Actually, I don't like his Bieber 'do. But he looks ok here. Mind you, I searched for a photo where he doesn't look like a sohai.

J also thinks that Wang Lee Hom is hot. This I can't say I disagree. I've always admired guys who plays musical instruments. Lee Hom is a very talented musician.

The talented Lee Hom

As for me, I'd definitely say Shirota Yuu is the hottest guy around. He's a Japanese-Spanish singer, actor and model popularized by the drama series Hanazakari no Kimitachi e and The Prince of Tennis. By the way, Hanazakari no Kimitachi e otherwise known as Hana Kimi, is a must-watch. How can any girl say no to cute guy after cute guy? (Well, most of them are cute, it is a school for cute guys anyway)

The cast of Hanazakari no Kimitachi e

And this is Shirota Yuu, my hot guy pick. Drool max.

Japanese-Spanish Shirota Yuu

In addition, I also like Oguri Shun and Ikuta Toma. 

Ikuta Toma, of M.A.I.N.

Oguri Shun who plays Hanazawa Rui in Hana Yori Dango and Sano Izumi in Hanazakari no Kimitachi e

One of the best scenes from Hanazakari no Kimitachi e in my opinion

What do you think of Taiwanese singer/actor Wu Chun from Fahrenheit?

Goh Kiat Chun @ Wu Chun

This Brunei-born Wu Chun really reminds me of Wang Lee Hom in terms of looks.

From a western angle, Chris Pine is choice.

Chris Pine looking suave

But you know who's the cutest of them all?

Shih Tzu zai, Pudding-chan!

The family dog! Now tell me he ain't cute.

Post 20: How I Got Over My Break-up

Does it ever bring back not-so-sweet memories! A couple of days before CNY, my sis broke up with her bf of almost 2 years, citing irreconcilable differences. Well, her ex is not accepting it very well and had to have long, lengthy discussions, with my sis just saying a few words in between, while his lines were measured in yards. Drama-worthy stuff.

To cut the chase. My sis get more and more annoyed as the days go by. This is because the ex keeps texting at all hours. 3am, 5am, 6am...sometimes several texts at once. In fact, he texted me too, when he found out that she has been talking to another guy who happens to have a girlfriend. He wondered if my sis knew that this guy has a girlfriend, and told me to gauge her reaction, warn her about him, bla and bla and bla.

I asked sis how the ex knew about this guy and his girlfriend and sis suspected that he hacked into her Facebook account, which he denied, all of four times, before finally admitting to it. And then all hell broke lose. I don't wanna talk about it. I'm here to talk about how he (they) could have avoided all this drama and get a move on healing.

STEP 1: DO NOT KEEP IN CONTACT WITH THE EX
This step is the most, most, MOST IMPORTANT aspect for you to heal. That was what I did after two long, drawn out months of being strung along. Wished that I'd done it so much sooner. I would have seemed less pathetic that way. Best way to do this is just drop off the face of earth. There is no need to seek closure and permission from your ex. The fact that they do not want to date you anymore is reason enough. They do not value your uniqueness and they are about to be spared from it. It also helps to wean you off all forms of communication such as the telephone and the internet. If you go no contact on them, you need not wait for hours by your phone only to feel dreadfully disappointed when they do not text or call. And when disappear, they start looking for you. And they will text, IM, try to call even. It's extremely satisfying when you do not text, IM or call back. It becomes a power struggle but you feel extremely in control of your emotions and feelings when you do not seek to connect or reconnect with your ex, even if they initiated it. After a break-up, all that crying, wheedling, begging, pleading, sobbing, weeping, fainting, vomiting, texting, reasoning is going to make you look pathetic, weak, clingy and needy in your ex's eyes. So by not contacting them no more, you are getting the power in the "unrelationship" back for yourself. And does it feel good. And liberating.

STEP 2: GET A NEW PHONE NUMBER AND NOT LET THE EX KNOW
The point of this is pretty simple. If your ex can't call you, you won't be tempted to call back.

STEP 3: DO NOT PLAY THE FRIENDS CARD
It's only going to backfire on you. Your ex is never going to see you as a desirable, attractive partner once you've been friend-zoned. And as a friend, you're going to be hearing all about your ex's hot new date, sexy new partner, new relationship, new fiance/fiancee which will only go so far as to set you back. And in a big way too. Nothing is going to hurt more than seeing your ex with someone new. And as a friend, you've gotta take it the way a friend does: feel happy for your ex. But you're literally dying inside. Sounds like fun, yes? You're also getting a pretty raw deal because he/she will expect you to be supportive and encouraging, but they will not be able to give you what you crave, which is, a relationship. No. You have enough friends as it is, you don't need another. Especially not a friend who makes you cry yourself to sleep at night.

STEP 4: AVOID PLACES YOUR EX FREQUENT
Like the plague. Because who knows how you'll handle yourself? You might think that you're find and you're strong enough to carry yourself well if you happen to bump into your ex, or worse, your ex with a date on his/her arm. Who knows? You might just breakdown and cry in the middle of the mall, or get so drunk at a pub that you make a complete fool of yourself. For your ex to see. He/she will only throw a pity party for you. So avoid at all cost your ex's haunts. Instead, go to some place where your ex usually won't be at.

STEP 5: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
Get a better job. Get more sleep. Get healthy. Get some new clothes. Get new hair. Get that manicure or pedicure. Save the whales. Save the environment. Do whatever it is that makes you happy and make you feel great. Or you may instead do something you've always wanted to do, but didn't get around to. I got new hair and some totally new clothes (which he didn't like, well whatever, eff him) and it was awesome. A confidence boost for me because I was down in the dumps. Remember, when you look great, you feel great. So I'll recommend retail therapy to anyone anytime. Just don't max out that credit card.

STEP 6: SPEND TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Have one, glorious cry or rant or rave and then talk about something else. Plan your free time wisely and spend it with family and friends if possible, because being with people takes your mind off the ex. When you're alone at home, your mind somehow keeps drifting back to the unattainable one. So spend as much time out of the house as possible, and with friends.

STEP 7: LIVING WELL IS THE BEST REVENGE
The ex, upon dumping you, expects you to pine for them, and grow ill and thin and sallow, and yellow and pale and pathetic. To an extend, they think they are the catch, they are the prize. Well that's so over. Go out and get a life. They ain't coming back (most of the time) and if they do, do you really want to give them another opportunity to stamp all over your broken heart. If they did it once, they can do it again, so screw them and go out and live a marvelous life!

My biggest regret is that I should have done it sooner, if I knew any better. So hopefully I'm being some help to those who finds it difficult to cope.

Post 19: Happy Valentine's Day

Dear All,

It's Valentine's Day today. Time to spread the love!

There does seem to be a whole load of it on Facebook it seems. My Facebook News Feed is flooded with Valentine's Day wishes, mushy messages to significant others, corny red roses and bears, you name it, it's on my feed. Heck, I'm one of those spammers.

Question: Is Valentine's Day becoming more of a commercial holiday than any other holiday of the year?

Fact: Yesterday I spent minutes and minutes in the chocolate aisle in Cold Storage trying to pick the best gourmet chocolate.

Fact: I picked up the one which has the best packaging and didn't look too corny (sis was complaining that every box/bar I picked was "corny"). I immediately dropped it back onto the shelf when sis told me that it contained only nine, friggin' NINE pieces of chocolate @ 35.99. Forget it.

Fact: I was going to go with a nice-looking 20-piece Belgian chocolate affair in hearts, and then sis went, "typical, pick the typical, cheesy heart-shaped chocolate in a box". I put that back too.

Fact: Sis said I should go for a white chocolate assemble. So I chose a selection of white chocolate when sis asked, "does he like white chocolate?" Silence. I did not know. (But now I do, and yes he does). So back went the white chocolate. Damn. Chocolate shopping is hard.

Fact: In the end I chose a few unique chocolate like pecan and caramel, and pistachio and almond filled. You get the idea. Oh, and a classic Belgian bar too. Chocolate = Belgian.

Fact: Do not go buying chocolates (or any other V-day offerings) with your sister. She'll say everything is cheesy/corny and you spend more time than intended.

Fact: A giant Memory Lane card costs an upwards of RM25. And it will go straight under your bed anyway. A Hallmark card costs RM14 and it looks just the same as a RM2.90 one.

Fact: No matter how cheesy a big furry stuffed bear is, I still want one! Especially the "Me to You" ones with patches and looking so pathetic that you just want to bring him home.

Fact: All girls love getting flowers. And I've been waiting to get some for years and years. I've lost hope. A rose on Valentine's Day starts at an approximate RM10. Yep, a SINGLE, SOLITARY rose. Can't help. Had to cap that.

Fact: A dinner for two on Valentine's Day always cost more than dinner for five on any normal day. It's always nice to wine and dine out on Valentine's Day but the lighter wallet will make you regret it. But then hey, am I worth it or not?

Conclusion: Yes, Valentine's Day is very commercialized.

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!

P/S: If I read one more mushy, sickening, stomach-churning, V-Day message to "baby", "darling", "sweety cake", "honey bunny"..and the like, I'm honestly gonna hurl. At you.

Post 18: Everyone's Getting Married

All right. I know that that's an unfounded generalization but it sure does seem that way to me. I'd just been on Facebook and found out that my sister's friend from kindergarten is getting married. My next-door-neighbour had her wedding reception last weekend. My cousin's coming back from Canberra to get married in late February. A couple of my old RO friends wedded last October. What were we children thinking?

There also seemed to be an abundance of "Bobby is engaged to Barbara" posts on Facebook. I think Facebook makes it so easy for us to update our relationship "status". One fella even updated his Facebook profile at the altar after the priest proclaimed them man and wife from "engaged" to "married". I have friends with the "engaged" tag. I dunno, I might find it important when my turn comes, if it ever does.

So what's the deal with marriages? To me, it is a life-long contract, commitment, pledge, vow, to stick with someone no matter what happens. Pretty big deal, right? So I absolutely do not understand why kids are falling over themselves to get married before they're not even a quarter of a century old. What would you think would be the perfect age to get married? I would like to get married in my late 20s, that would be the ideal for me.

I'm not afraid of commitment. I'm committed to my job, my birth order as the eldest in the family, to my star sign of Sagittarius (no, I haven't converted to a Serpenttarius, I despise snakes), to my relationship. But I do enjoy my freedom, very much.

Actually, I'm in a bit of a dilemma. Of course I want to get married, most girls do. I don't know about the radical feminists, but I see nothing anti-feminism about wanting to be part of a couple (maybe even a same sexed couple). But I have no idea when, and how.

After my stint in CLHS, I really have no idea where I'll be chucked. Most likely the rural areas. Elf's suggestion is that we get a marriage registry so that I would be able to remain in Penang. Anyway, marriage registry or not, I don't even want to go to East Malaysia. And it is not because of the KFC. Or McDonalds'. So I'd most likely look for another job on the peninsular. Or I'll just get married.

Post 17: Marrying a Prince

I write this in response to the announcements of Prince William's engagement to Kate Middleton. Both are 28 years old and will be married in April 2011. I'm sure this is the stuff of every little girl's fantasy, marrying a prince.   Or at least imagining she is a princess. But you get a little older, and wiser, and then realize that there are only so many princes in this world. I wonder what it's like, being a real-life princess?

Firstly, I suppose I would have to eat things like caviar, and pate, and all that gourmet food. I've never had any of those things. I don't even like those fish roe, even the ones which came with sushi. And I am no longer able to walk into McDonald's without a bodyguard. Or KFC. Or PastaMania. Or Burger King.

I'll probably have princess lessons like Mia in The Princess Diaries. God knows I need them. I would probably have to be drilled in royal protocol and matters of etiquette. So that I wouldn't make a fool of the royal family.

They would probably hire me a stylist, hairstylist and make-up artist. And probably a trainer or two. And a nutritionist. And a manicurist. And a chauffeur. And maybe a butler. Some security. A personal assistant. Because I would be representing the royal family. And I have to look immaculate. Nice little pressed suits in pastel colors. Not a strand of hair out of place. I'd probably have to take up horseback riding. Or polo. Or cricket or whatever it is that royals play. No more RO and Perfect World for me.

I have to really watch what I say. Because who has ever heard of an outspoken, rude princess? Or even a sarcastic one? None in living memory. Of course I'd have to be involved in charities, and hospitals, and orphanage. Not that I have anything against charities and such. But sometimes, when celebrities do it, it seems a bit...fake. Like it's all for show for someone's twisted benefits.

At this age, this kind of fantasy is properly over. Sounds like dull, stiff, stuffy life, being a princess. Especially for a person who expects so much freedom from a relationship. Sounds like it could kill.